Brain, Mouth and me have known each other a long time but we have a difficult relationship. Brain likes to learn everything in the entire world and then have Mouth recite it to all and sundry wherever possible. This creates problems for me as that’s not how you communicate with people or connect with them. It’s almost a verbal barrage of information that is nonstop and only relents when there is no more information to impart. This can take a long time and usually is stopped by them leaving as the event has finished.
The other scenario that happens is where Brain is feeling remorseful for the above situation so refuses to give Mouth any words. Even if the day has been relaxed and I have done exactly as Brain and I wanted, Brain decides No! Yes I understand what you asked, meant, what I need to say in reply to you but can Brain release those words to Mouth? Oh No!
It’s highly embarrassing after 13 years to still be unable to say “τι θα θέλατε να πιείτε?” Μια Μπύρα Παρακαλω, “μικρο η μεγάλα?”, μικρο ευχαριστώ, “τι θέλις να φάε?” θέλω ένα τσιπούρα σημερα, etc.
Thanks Brain for causing all this distress for Me by not allowing Mouth to say What would you like to drink?, A beer please, Small or Large?, Small please, What do you want to eat?, I want a sea bream today, etc
It’s not a lot to ask but to have all these words at your command yet the inability to use any of them is soul destroying.
Have you experienced this before and if so how have you overcome this?
Best wishes
Angela
The English Introvert 
I can’t relate to trying to speak another language and failing, only to speaking my own and failing. I just remind myself not to be to hard on me.
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Thank you for the reply.
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As far as I understood you, Angela. It is no issue of translation….but more about not being able to express yourself or to do small talk? Right?
As a child I was very shy…so my parents were used to train me and gave me tasks like for salt & pepper at the next table in a restaurant for example.
I think., it is a matter of training and stamina. If you gather positive experiences, it becomes easier.
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Your are correct. It is precisely that issue. My parents are not particularly into going out so I didn’t get a lot of social training but they did give me every arts and craft activity under the sun to entertain me. I did other activities like karate for self defense, swimming for exercise and brownies for socialisation. We also visited every single historical building and garden ever created. I don’t remember ever eating out really but it must have happened.
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Well, I think you had plenty of opportunities to train socializing.
I am sorry that you feel uncomfortable but I can understand you because I`ve got days, I don`t like to socialize at all too.
Sometimes it is best to simply accept ones own limitations and not to strive for something that doesn`t belong to your strength. Instead it might make sense to simply focus on your strengths and to further cultivate them.
As side effect, you might relax a little bit ref. your communication /small talk issue..without any wrong expectations and pressure, it might become easier for you.
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It would be good if I could but that’s not what my mother was like.
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You are your own master…your mothers preferences should not have priority.
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True it just takes a lot of undoing as she was a strong controlling influence in my life for a long time.
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Well, possibly that is your true task (and not the communication/socializing topic).
Letting her go and becoming autonomous.
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I don’t live with my mother and I haven’t for quite a while but she is still in my head.
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I understand you`ve integrated her beliefs and thinking patterns …creating a so called “inner critic” ( a kind of voice in your head that is commenting everything). That´s a well-known phenomena in psychology. It is very tough to silence this inner critic.
First step might be to notice that he is speaking to you and that these are not your own thoughts and beliefs. They are just citations of somebody else. This might be a start to distance yourself to be able to develop an own value / belief system with prios….but I am no expert.
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Thank you I’ll give it a go.
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Yes, at times, when words pop up in head quick enough but filtered at mouth end with lots of decisive thoughts “Should I react” delaying the promptness, or worse, stopping the reaction completely, usually ending up with “I should have objected.” This is because brain is not habituated to such interactions and falls prey to apprehension manifesting as lack of confidence.
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Thankyou for the insightful reply. That certainly happens and we will see if it continues next time I go out to dinner.
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